Romance Scams: 12 Warning Signs and How to Protect Yourself

A romance scam is a con where someone fakes a relationship online to get your money. Scammers are patient and often convincing, but nearly every dating scam follows the same pattern: fast affection, a reason they can’t meet, then a crisis or an investment that needs your money. This guide covers the 12 warning signs, the stories scammers use and exactly where to report a scam in the US, UK, Canada and Australia.

How dating scams work

Romance scams cost Americans more than a billion dollars a year. The FTC received 64,003 reports in 2023, with $1.14 billion lost and a median loss of $2,000 per person, the highest of any imposter scam (FTC, 2024). The FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center recorded $929 million in romance and confidence fraud losses in 2025 (FBI IC3, 2025 report). Because many victims never report, the real numbers are higher.

Online dating scams tend to move through the same stages:

1. Contact. A profile reaches out on a dating site or, increasingly, on social media. In 2025, nearly 60% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam said it started on a social media platform (FTC, April 2026).
2. Trust. Daily messages, compliments and talk of a future together. The FTC notes that scammers often tailor their pitch to what you share in your profile.
3. Isolation. They ask to move to WhatsApp, Telegram or text and to keep the relationship private.
4. The ask. A sudden crisis, a trip that needs paying for or an investment opportunity.

12 warning signs of a romance scam

1. They profess strong feelings very quickly. “I’ve never felt this way” after a week of messages is a script, not a coincidence.
2. Their photos look too polished. Model-like shots with no casual photos can be stolen or AI-generated.
3. They want to leave the dating site right away. Moving to another app hides the conversation from the site’s moderators.
4. They always have a reason not to video call. A broken camera, bad signal or a strict job, every time.
5. They say they work far away. An oil rig, a military deployment, a ship or a medical mission abroad are common cover stories.
6. Plans to meet always fall through at the last minute.
7. Their story doesn’t add up. Details about their age, job or family change over time.
8. They ask about your finances, your savings, your home or your retirement accounts.
9. They talk about investments or crypto and offer to teach you how to profit.
10. A sudden emergency needs money: hospital bills, customs fees, a frozen account or a plane ticket.
11. They ask for gift cards, wire transfers or crypto, which are hard to trace and nearly impossible to reverse.
12. They ask you to keep the relationship secret from friends and family.

Common romance scam stories

Scammers reuse a handful of stories because they work. In FTC data for 2022, the most common lies were that the scammer or a relative was sick, hurt or in jail and needed money (24% of reports), and that they had made a fortune investing and wanted to show you how (18%).

• The deployed service member. They claim to be serving overseas and need money for leave, a flight home or a satellite phone. Real service members don’t need to pay for any of these.
• The worker abroad. An engineer on an oil rig or a doctor on a mission needs help with equipment, fees or getting paid.
• The investment mentor. After weeks of friendly chat, they show you their profits on a crypto trading platform and help you open an account. The platform is fake, and money you deposit can’t be withdrawn.
• The emergency. A car accident, a hospital bill or customs fees on a package they sent you.
• The threat. After you share private photos or information, they threaten to send it to your friends unless you pay. Don’t pay, stop contact and report it.

Phrases scammers use

These lines show up again and again in romance scam messages:

• “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
• “God brought us together.”
• “My account is frozen. I just need help until Friday.”
• “Let’s talk on Google Chat. I rarely check this app.”
• “Don’t tell your kids about us yet. They won’t understand.”

Any one of these alone can be innocent. Several together, plus a request for money, is a pattern.

How to check if someone is real

Run a reverse image search on their photos, ask for a live video call and search their name with their city or employer. Our step-by-step guide on how to verify someone you met online walks you through each check, and how to spot a catfish covers fake and AI-generated profiles.

Are dating sites safe? How to lower your risk

Most well-known dating sites are legitimate businesses, and most people on them are real. Scams come from individual fake profiles, so your habits matter more than the site you choose. Still, some features make scams harder:

• Photo or selfie verification, offered by Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and others.
• Paid memberships, which put off many low-effort fake accounts.
• In-app video calls, so you can check someone without sharing your number.

Keep conversations on the dating site until you’ve met, and use the site’s reporting tools. Reporting protects the next person too.

What to do if you think you’re being scammed

1. Stop sending money and stop contact. Don’t warn the scammer that you know.
2. Take screenshots of the profile, messages and any payment details.
3. Report the profile to the dating site or social network.
4. Call your bank, card issuer or payment app right away if you’ve sent money, and ask them to stop or reverse the payment.
5. Report the scam to your national agency (see below).
6. Talk to someone you trust. Romance scams are run by professionals. Being targeted isn’t a sign of foolishness.

Where to report a romance scam

Also report the profile on the dating site or social network where you met, even if you’ve already blocked the person.